Ms C 23r

[23r°] one’s own way. But this is still not the most difficult thing; what cost me more than anything else was to observe the faults and lightest imperfections and to wage a war to the death on these. I was going to say: unhappily for me! (but this would be cowardly), and [5] so I say: happily for my Sisters, since the time I took my place in the arms of Jesus, I am like the watchman observing the enemy from the highest turret of a strong castle. Nothing escapes my eyes; I am frequently astonished at seeing so clearly, and I find the Prophet Jonah very excusable when taking to flight rather than announcing the ruin of Niniveh. [10] I would prefer a thousand times to receive reproofs than to give them to others; however, I feel it is necessary that this be a suffering for me, for, when we act according to nature, it is impossible for the soul being corrected to understand her faults; she sees only one thing: the Sister charged with directing me is angry, and all the blame is put on me [15] who am filled with the best intentions.

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