Ms C 10v

[10v°] would receive me that I would leave everything dear to me. I would do everything that depended on me, but I know my incapacity, and I know that in doing my very best I would not succeed in doing well, having, as I just [5] said, no knowledge of the things of earth. My one purpose, then, would be to accomplish the will of God, to sacrifice myself for Him in the way that would please Him.

I really feel that I would have no disappointment, for when one expects pure and unmixed suffering, the smallest [10] joy becomes an unhoped-for surprise. And you know, Mother, that suffering itself becomes the greatest of joys when one seeks it as the most precious of treasures.

Oh, no! it is not with the intention of enjoying the fruit of my labors that I would want to leave; and if my purpose were that, I would not [15] feel this sweet peace which floods me and would actually suffer at not being able to realize my vocation for the foreign missions. For a long time I have not belonged to myself since I delivered myself totally to Jesus, and He is therefore free to do with me as He pleases. He has given me the attraction for a complete exile and He has made me understand [20] all the sufferings I would meet with, asking me if I would want to drink this chalice to the dregs; I wanted to seize this cup immediately when Jesus presented it, but He withdrew His hand and made me understand that my resignation alone was pleasing to Him.

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