Ms A 81r

[81r°] I had the happiness of contemplating for a long time the marvels Jesus is working by means of my dear Mother. I see that suffering alone gives birth to souls, and more than ever before these sublime words of Jesus unveil their depths to me: “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless the grain of ^[5] wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it will bring forth much fruit.” What an abundant harvest you have reaped! You have sown in tears, but soon you will see the result of your works, and you will return filled with joy, carrying sheaves in your arms. O Mother, among these ripe sheaves is hidden the little [10] white flower; however, in heaven she will have a voice with which to sing of your gentleness and your virtues which she sees you practice every day in the darkness and the silence of life’s exile!

Yes, for the past two years I have understood very well the mysteries hidden from me until then. God showed me the same mercy He showed to King ^[15] Solomon. He has not willed that I have one single desire which is not fulfilled, not only my desires for perfection but those too whose vanity I have understood without having experienced it.

As I have always looked upon you, dear Mother, as my ideal, I desired to be like you in everything; when I saw you do beautiful paintings and ^[20] delightful poems, I said to myself: How happy I would be if I were able to paint and to know how to express my thoughts in verse and thus do good to souls. I would not have wanted to ask for these natural gifts and my desires remained hidden away at the bottom of my heart. Jesus hidden also in this poor little heart was pleased to show it that everything is vanity and affliction of spirit under the sun. To the great astonishment of the Sisters I was told to paint, and God permitted that I profit by the lessons my dear Mother gave me. He willed also

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