Ms A 79r

[79r°] container which holds my Vows.

I attach no importance to dreams; besides, I have rarely had any meaningful dreams, even wondering why it is that I think of God all day long and yet am so little occupied with Him in my ^[5] sleeping hours. I dream usually about such things as woods, flowers, streams, and the sea; I see beautiful children almost all the time; I catch butterflies and birds the like of which I’ve never seen before. You can see, dear Mother, that though my dreams are rather fanciful, they are never mystical. One night after Mother Geneviève’s death, I had a very consoling dream: I ^[10] dreamed she was making her last will and testament, giving each of the Sisters something which she possessed. When my turn finally came, I thought I would get nothing as there was really nothing left to give; however, she said: “To you I leave my heart.” She repeated this three times with great emphasis.

Influenza broke out in the ^[15] monastery one month after Mother Geneviève’s death. Two Sisters and myself were the only ones left on our feet. Never could I describe all the things I witnessed, what life appeared to be like, and everything that happened.

My nineteenth birthday was celebrated with a death, and this was soon followed by two other deaths. At this time I was all alone in the sacristy because the first in charge was seriously ill; I was the one who had to prepare for the burials, open ^[20] the choir grilles for Mass, etc. God gave me very many graces making me strong at this time, and now I ask myself how I could have done all I did without experiencing fear. Death reigned supreme. The ones who were most ill were taken care of by those who could scarcely drag themselves around. As soon as a Sister breathed her last, we were obliged to leave her alone. One morning upon arising I had a presentiment that Sister Magdalene was dead; the dormitory was in darkness, and no one was coming out of the cells. I decided

© Washington Province of Discalced Carmelite Friars, Inc