Ms A 70v

[70v°] open book to them. However, our Mother Prioress, frequently ill, had little time to spend with me. I know that she loved me very much and said everything good about me that was possible, nevertheless, God permitted that she was VERY SEVERE without her even being aware of it. I was unable to meet her without having to kiss the floor, and it was the same thing on ^[5] those rare occasions when she gave me spiritual direction. What an inestimable grace! How visibly God was acting within her who took His place! What would have become of me if I had been the “pet” of the community as some of the Sisters believed? Perhaps, instead of seeing Our Lord in my Superiors, I would have looked upon them as ^[10] ordinary persons only and my heart, so well guarded while I was in the world, would have become humanly attached in the cloister. Happily I was preserved from this misfortune. I loved Mother Prioress very much, but it was a pure affection which raised me to the Bridegroom of my soul.

Our Novice Mistress was really a saint, the finished product of the first ^[15] Carmelites. I was with her all day long since she taught me how to work. Her kindness toward me was limitless and still my soul did not expand under her direction. It was only with great effort that I was able to take direction, for I had never become accustomed to speaking about my soul and I didn’t know how to express what was going on within it. One good old Mother understood one day what I was experiencing, and ^[20] she said laughingly during recreation: “My child, it seems to me you don’t have very much to tell your Superiors.” “Why do you say that, Mother?” “Because your soul is extremely simple, but when you will be perfect, you will be even more simple; the closer one approaches to God, the simpler one becomes.” The good Mother was right; however, the difficulty I had in revealing my soul, while coming from my simplicity, was a veritable trial; I recognize it now, for I express my thoughts

© Washington Province of Discalced Carmelite Friars, Inc